Assertiveness is, in my experience, a facet of self-confidence. So it may be that the common lack of assertiveness in riders is closely related to a lack of self-confidence. Improving your self-confidence is a conundrum. People who are urged to be more self-confident will ask, and rightly so, “How can I have the confidence to be more self-confident if I lack confidence in the first place? Isn’t this a catch-22?”

I think the answer is both “yes” and “no.” I like the saying, “Boldness comes from confidence; confidence comes from success.” So you have to begin by guaranteeing success. The way to guarantee success is to begin with tasks that are ridiculously easy and gradually build from there, backing up if things start to go wrong. It’s like desensitizing your horse to that scary ditch.

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