It is Thanksgiving week here in the USA and I still haven’t really gotten used to how close together the American’s put their two turkey dinner nights, so I have adapted by changing my Christmas meal to roast beef instead. Anyhoo, the first thing I am thankful for is that my back is feeling better.
Ten days ago, I took a mother and father of a fall off a green horse I was cross country schooling at the Holling’s Willow Run Farm. I was going down some steps and she spun incredibly fast at the second and shot me out the side door, landing me flat on my back across a railway tie that was reinforcing the bank. I then fell without grace to the bottom of the step and lay there trying to breathe for a bit as it really knocked all the wind out of me.
As I lay still trying to find my breath I knew my back had taken one hell of a whack, so I went through a checklist and sure enough I could move all limbs. However, try as I might I could not sit up, my back just would not allow it. As my breath slowly came back to me, my back started just screaming in pain. Eventually a few seemed to notice my corpse littering the field and Leslie did ride up. However as his knees are both shot he can no longer dismount without a block lest he risk them popping out, so he just kinda stood over me on his horse asking if I needed an ambulance as the last thing we needed at that point was two Leslie’s on the floor.
“No ambulance!” I croaked. Having lived for about 10 years now in the States I have memorized about all health costs one could occur here and for sure, take a tip from me, unless you think you will be admitted, you do not want to take an ambulance as they are very expensive and not usually covered by your insurance unless you are consequently admitted to hospital.
By this time, Jen Holling had arrived and kindly asked how she could help and I told her if she could somehow manage to prop me up that would be fab, keeping in mind that I was sure I hadn’t broken anything in my back, thus I must be ok to move despite the fact that I couldn’t on my own volition. Jen bravely hooked an arm under each armpit and kinda propped me up against her and then gingerly took off my vest and lifted up the back of my shirt to say, “Oh cool! I can see your back muscles moving! I should take a video!”
No matter how hard I willed them to stop, I just could not get my back muscles to cease seizing. It was terrible pain really. Somehow they hoisted me into a truck looking like the hunchback from some Andrew Lloyd Webber musical and after a quick stop at my farm to get my wallet, off we went to the Express Care walk in doctor’s office (another tip: these are cheaper than ER’s).
Our head girl Lexi was the lucky one to drive me there and she was very quiet the entire way. I don’t suppose she knew what to say to me while I shook and bit my lip trying very hard not to scream or cry the entire way to the office. I hobbled into the office where we know the staff quite well, sadly enough, and took a seat rather crumpled like in the waiting room. I must have been a real picture, as despite my best effort, tears of pain were streaming down my face. All dirty and hunched over I bet I looked like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, but with hair.
We waited and waited and waited. Finally after about 15 minutes, I told Lexi I was going to go speak to the staff. She asked if she could do that for me but no, I got her to hoist me up and I hobbled over to the counter where as best I could I whispered to the familiar check in staff, “Please. I am not a pussy. am in fantastic pain here and I will happily wait my turn all day long, but you are going to need to give me some drugs right now.” Within two minutes my name was called.
By this point I was almost crazed with pain. It had just been too long. The nice PA that has dealt with Leslie on quite a few occasions took me in and started to do all the usual blood pressure (which he couldn’t get, as shockingly I ‘couldn’t calm down’), weight (which I was really upset about because I still had on my boots, half chaps and spurs which are all quite heavy, you know), etc. and all I kept asking him for was some pain meds. “First we have to check that you are not pregnant,” he says. “I am not pregnant,” I state. “Well, you just need to give us a urine sample to insure that,” he replies. A urine sample? Are you kidding me? I can hardly walk, can’t stand up straight to save my life and yet you want me to lower myself on a toilet and hold a cup between my legs? At this point you may as well asked me to perform a Cirque du Soleil routine. Somehow I got it done. It was messy, but I got ‘er done.
PA then finally came into my room with a big ol’ needle and told me that he had to put it in my bum. What? A shot in the bum? Never can I remember such a thing! I thought that was just in the movies! I have had multiple surgeries and never a shot in the bum! “Why’s that?” I asked. “Because I am going to give you such a large dose that it has to go in a larger area,” PA stated. I’m not sure if he was being a smart ass or what, but I once again wiggled my pants down and turned my best side to him. “It is going to hurt a bit and really burn in your butt and you should probably lay on the bed for me to do it,” he said. He put the shot in and walked out promising to return in a few minutes when the pain killer started to take effect.
I lay there face to the wall still unable to move, now allowing myself the guilty pleasure of crying and feeling very sorry for myself as my back was still in the throws of every muscle acting like they were in a mosh pit just moving and slamming around in their nonstop. What felt like an hour later, PA came back in and said, “You can pull up your pants you know” to which I replied, “Actually no, I cannot. I still am in total pain, I must have an a$$ like a rhino, as it is not burning at all, your drugs are crap and you best go get some more.” (I am honestly much more polite when I am not in total and complete pain). I then got the good stuff – Demerol. I have no idea why he didn’t go there first, but magically within 15 minutes I could move well enough to wiggle my pants back up, I could sit almost straight, and I had a smile on my face (Demerol has always been my drug of choice, lol).
Now that I was much better off I went for x-rays of my entire neck and back. I tried to tell them over and over again that nothing was broke, that having been a rider all my life and a skier and skater during my youthful years I knew broken bones and that they were just racking up my bill needlessly, however, they insisted. I was feeling all happy and helpful during all the x-rays now that the drugs had kicked in until the tech had to rain on my parade by asking “Oh! So, you have good scoliosis eh?” What?!!! “Ya, look at your x-ray,” they said. ure as anything there it was my back looked like a properly bowed tendon. Again I burst into tears. How the hell could I have such advanced scoliosis without knowing about it? I slithered back into my room, my Demerol high getting severely dampened, when the Doc came in and said, “Now don’t listen to the techs! They shouldn’t talk! Your back is like that most likely due to the muscles pulling on it.” Thanks be to God.
Apparently, as I foresaw, the bones were all pretty good looking and I was just dealing with some very angry muscles that had pulled my spine around, thus the reason I could not sit up. I was sent home with many muscle relaxers and anti-inflamitories and told to come back in a week for a check-up. On my way home in the truck with Lexi the mood was much lighter. I asked her to stop at Walgreen’s so I could buy a heating pad for my bed and instead I came out with 10 marshmallow chocolate Santas, as they had caught my eye and I had forgotten all about the pad…that Demerol is a wonder!
It was very sore for the first week or so, but now, 10 days later, I am probably about 85 per cent better and ever so thankful for it. I have gone back to riding a few on the flat for a few days now and feel just about good enough to jump. The riding doesn’t really bother me as long as they don’t spook…spooking is a killer on a bad back! I haven’t gotten my bill yet for my adventures, but my trained and experienced guess would be that on top of what my family’s $700 a month insurance pays, I bettcha I will owe about $600 for this adventure and that should give you all something to be thankful for! Canada’s health care system! Boy, do I miss it at times like this
As we are not much of a strict religious family, instead of saying prayers at night, I make our son Liam say five things every night that he is thankful for. Usually they are half legit like ‘family,’ ‘our house,’ ‘my teachers,’ and half ‘I am thankful for my Lego and that my friend Ty gave me $20 for my birthday.’
Today I will have a turn and say mine:
- I am thankful my back is better and that I have never had an injury bad enough that has stopped me from returning to what I love.
- I am thankful for the horse. The animal I grew up loving that has both given me dreams and a career.
- I am thankful for our business, our clients, our staff that all allow us to make a living doing what we love and providing for our family.
- I am thankful we live in a place where we do not live in daily fear of the current political problems going on in the world right now.
- I am so thankful for my family that is too good to me. My mom who will be joining us soon for Christmas, my son who everyday does something that reminds me that he is the best thing I have ever done in my life, and my husband who is my hero, my rock, my best friend, my soul mate.
So, happy belated Thanksgiving to all of you in Canada, and happy Thanksgiving now to all of my American friends.
