Happy 2014, Year of the Horse, everyone! I have all kinds of expectations and predictions for the coming year that I’m preparing to share with you, but I would be doing 2013 a disservice if I didn’t give it a proper send off with my annual ‘best, worst, and ugliest’ list. So here we go with K-Rob’s Top Ten List of 2013, in no particular order:
1. Worst/most dysfunctional organization: yup, you guessed it, Equine Canada. Usually this is a cake walk for our national equestrian sport organization, which has been the hands down winner for the past four years, but EC faced a fierce rival in the FEI this year. I based my decision on closeness to home and impact on myself, as well as a large proportion of my readers who, like me, are not only Canadians but also victims, I mean members, of EC. It’s hard for me to hold up a single item as the jewel in EC’s crown of thorns, but certainly the coming and going of a CEO in just nine months is a shining example of what makes EC for me what Rob Ford is for Jon Stewart. Pure gold. That is, until it stops being funny, which it has.
2. Most apathetic group of horse people: You. If you are a member – either voluntarily (sport license) or through coercion (provincial membership) of EC, and if you failed to vote for the 2014 EC Director at Large (it’s not too late to redeem yourself. Click here), then congratulations. You made my top ten list. There are days – many, becoming more numerous all the time – that I wonder why I bother writing all the articles and blogs in an effort to enlighten the population as to what is going on in EC but is not in their press releases. Maybe when EC Board members start popping up as paid employees at EC you will start to care…but until you do, I’ll just keep raking the muck, because I do care.
3. Most improved organization: DQ Canada. Yes, really. There was a time – as recently as a year ago – that I would never have believed it possible, but Dressage Canada seems to be well on its way to being an organization that not only can support its members and elite athletes, but is actually beginning to do so. DC is putting the ‘can’ back in Canada for our DQs, and not a minute too soon. We still don’t have good enough (or enough good) horses to fulfill WEG podium dreams, and that 70% minimum in the criteria could still keep us from sending a team to Normandy at all; it’s not all roses yet, but it takes a while for the blooms to come and let’s face it. There really was nowhere to go but up after London. At this moment I am optimistic about the future of Dressage in Canada. You can expect journalistic coverage of the erection of the DC barn in coming issues of Horse Sport, starting with an exclusive interview with our newest not-so-secret weapon, Desi Dillingham, in the March issue.
4. Best example of dressage judges going gaga for a star: Charlotte’s and Valegro’s latest world record breaking feat, in the freestyle at Olympia. Yes, it was Christmas, but dear judges, who all seem to think you are Santa: You can’t just be giving cars away all the time and think you won’t go broke. What will you have left in your sack for Normandy? I honestly did not see anything in Charlotte’s performance that was particularly better than any other (she and my favourite Blueberry in the whole world are incredibly consistent), and she was chasing her music for much of the program, as you surely must have seen because you have all judged this freestyle before. 93.975% is three points better than any other time this freestyle has been performed, and while it certainly wasn’t the weakest, I challenge any of you judges to present an argument about why it got such a mind-blowing score. There is a youtube video of the ride, but embedding has been disabled on it, so I can only give you a link.
5. Best sporting moment of the equestrian year: no, it’s not Andrew Nicholson for having more than a dozen four star horses and holding down the world ranking top spot for most of 2013 – it’s those smooth-as-butter German eventers, who for the second consecutive European Championship gave their rivals a riding lesson. Led by the wizard of wizards Michael Jung, who proved he’s no one-Sam-hit wonder by winning the individual title with Halunke (whose name translates as ‘scoundrel’), he was assisted by silver medalist, multi-disciplinary sorceress Ingrid Klimke with the gorgeous and brave Escada. Needless to say, Germany went home with a team gold medal.
6. Most gobsmacking FEI moment: when Princess Haya returned to a standing ovation at the FEI GA after having excused herself when the topic of extending her term came up. During the morning at the GA, I joked that perhaps the FEI had piped tryptophan into the ventilation system because things were so, so sleepy like post-Thanksgiving turkey; but after the astounding ovation and orgasmic pronouncements of love for HRH by the likes of Jamaica and John Long, I think maybe it was Ecstasy in the air. I can’t wait to see if we media have missed a subtle loophole in HRH’s persistent claim that she feels compelled to stand by the two term limit she imposed in 2006 (see my next post, Crystal Ball 2014, for more on this topic).
7. Biggest loser in the 2016 Olympic qualification Pan Am clawback: Canada, Canada and Canada. Here’s a bit of unwelcome reality: Canada, having sent teams in all three disciplines to the last three Olympics, is at the greatest risk of any country IN THE WORLD of sending fewer teams to Rio, thanks to the FEI’s removal of one Pan Am qualification for each of the three disciplines. There is no other country that will pay a greater penalty for the fact that the next Olympics are taking place in the Americas. Take home message: the FEI likes to globalize at both ends of the spectrum, but has no interest in protecting the future of a country that is neither the strongest nor the weakest. The jumpers, they’ll be fine. The eventers, most likely too. But no one should be shocked if there is no Canadian Dressage Team in Rio. The FEI already wrote that bit of history in graffiti on their solidarity wall. Sorry, tree.
8. Best Canadian sporting achievement: props to Hawley and Jessica for your impressive results this year, but I have to give this one to my Homegirl Rebecca Howard (and Rupert – she couldn’t have done it without you) who finished twelfth at the two biggest three days in the world. And actually, pending the outcome of the Jock Paget Reserpine inquest, that might end up as twelfth at Badminton and eleventh at Burghley. Go BC Eventers.
9. Worst FEI discipline when it comes to horse welfare: no contest of course, it’s Endurance. I’d like to propose a Tonya Harding award to the nation that is responsible for the most broken legs – which is of course impossible to know, since the FEI conveniently has no record of that. I’ll take a stab and say, oh gosh, UAE! And doping scandals, let me see…UAE!
10. What would any top ten list be without one item that is simply on there for entertainment purposes? I give you 2013’s best example of a rider completely losing his sanity after winning a class. In this case the mind was so completely lost – perhaps it went off with the helmet – that the rider, Carlos Ribas, forfeited his victory by breaking not one but two FEI rules in his victory lap after winning the six bar in Mechelen just after Christmas. I’ll let you be the judge of whether Carlos deserves the distinction of being the dumbest rider on youtube for 2013. Way to go, Carlos. You are also a finalist for lousiest rider. And get a haircut.
