In an unprecedented act of innovation, Equine Canada has announced this morning a proposal to suspend the hunt for a new CEO. Instead, the considerable resources of hiring, training, retaining and firing a Chief Executive will be redirected to the creation of a brand new department, called the Crisis Department. This new addition to EC’s extensive list of departments will be headed by a SNAFU Supervisor whose responsibilities include managing a team charged with casting a net of problem-solving over crises as they arise – which is often on a daily basis.
The Crisis team will be assisted by a committee of volunteers whose sheer size will guarantee success. It has been amply proven by EC’s hundred-plus committees that the larger the committee, the more effective it is. Therefore, the Crisis Department Oversight Committee will include one member from all eight EC Discipline committees, as well as a member from each of Canada’s 11 provincial and territorial affiliates. Additional committee members will be appointed on an as-needed basis until an upper limit of 50 members is reached. Monthly in-person meetings will be mandatory for all committee members. Travel expenses are to be covered entirely by EC, using what was formerly the CEO’s salary.
There is an unconfirmed report that EC has poached one of Canada’s most accomplished political opportunists from under Prime Minister Harper’s very nose for the job of SNAFU Supervisor. Dimitri Soudas’ widely reported dismissal this past weekend from his position as Conservative Party Executive Director is merely an attempt to save face for the Conservative leadership, who are secretly mourning Soudas’ sudden departure for EC’s greener pastures. Soudas, who was the former head of Media and Communications for the Canadian Olympic Committee, used to sign all his emails ‘yours in sport’. If he accepts the role as EC’s new SNAFU Supervisor, as is expected to be announced in the coming hours, he will sign all his future messages ‘yours in crisis’.
In a rare act of genuine democracy, EC is asking all members to send in letters of support for the creation of the Crisis Department. Letters, which can be sent by fax or email, (inquiries@equinecanada.ca, (613) 248-3484) must be received no later than noon today, Pacific Daylight Savings Time. Please include today’s date and time of day with all letters.
For members without a calendar handy, today’s date is April 1, 2014.
