This morning in an email conversation with a colleague I referred to something the FEI was potentially going to do as crazy. I stopped just short of using one of my favourite vulgarisms to add colour to that adjective – chiroptera feces – and then my colleague replied to me with that exact phrase. Our interchange led me to ponder my current opinion of international equestrianism’s governing body. I realized that if I could just manage to see the FEI as a kind of deranged auntie, someone unhinged but harmless except to herself, it would make the crap that’s been going down a bit more bearable. ‘Oh that crazy FEI, going and soiling itself again, silly sausage.’ Makes it kind of manageable, no? Just hire a caregiver, get on the waiting list for a nursing home, and you can dust off your hands of the tiresome old bitty.
There’s just one problem. The FEI may be crazy, but it’s not harmless.
A few days ago I posted a scary little tale over on my other blog, Low-Down. If you haven’t seen it, you might want to give it a scan as a relevant bit of background to my Tuesday rant here. My latest FEI bewilderment, you see, has to do with timing. As you will have learned by obediently going over to my post on the other blog as I told you to, the scandalous situation in FEI Endurance is escalating, in spite of the best efforts of Andrew Finding and his ESPG posse. As we already know, there is a teensy tiny fraction of a degree of separation between the FEI Prez and the principal perpetrators of doping, horse swapping, cheating, etc. in FEI Endurance. And clearly that situation is in the process of getting worse before it (maybe, eventually) gets better. So what does HRH do? She publicly aligns the FEI with two other organizations whose track records (pun intended) hardly soothe the souls of the equine-sympathetic.
On March 20th the FEI media machine sent out a press release heralding an agreement between the FEI and the NRHA and AQHA. Officially the agreement is to ‘foster the growth of reining’. Unofficially it’s a tidy way for the FEI to wash its hands of one of Reining’s worst horse welfare sins: using horses under the age of six (many half that age) to do things their tender young bodies aren’t mature enough to do. Think Soviet girl gymnasts. Instead of mandating that Reining cease the use of adolescent horses for their sport if it wants to stay in the FEI, the FEI has simply said fine. You do your thing to the youngsters and bring those that are either made of titanium or were spared until the age of majority to our gigs.
On March 31st, another FEI missive flew out of the windows of HQ on the wings of a dove. This one trumpeted the news of the first meeting of the recently concocted International Horse Sports Confederation (ie. the marriage of the FEI to the IFHA), the president of which was appointed during that first meeting. Who could it possibly be, I wonder? Yes, you guessed it. HRH is right there in the middle of the photo in the press release – the strawberry at the sausage party if you will, a sausage party peopled by a delicious blend of FEI execs and big bad bosses from the world of horse racing.
What the press release doesn’t bother identifying (except in the small print of the photo caption) is what IFHA stands for: International Federation of Horseracing Authorities. Well now there’s an alliance of innocents if I ever saw one. Because of course horse racing is pure as the driven snow, isn’t it? Especially these days with all the drug raids in the UK (insert Maktoum name here) and the recent PETA outing of top US trainer Steve Asmussen for a baker’s dozen of dreadful abuses against both horses and the system. Oh yeah, great moment to tie the knot with horse racing, FEI! Two thumbs up!
I have a version of dandruff that I’ve started calling FEI-czema – that’s when you scratch your head so much it bleeds. Why would HRH choose now, of all times, to publicly allign the FEI – an organization whose apparent lip-service attitude toward horse welfare has NEVER been more in our faces – with other equine sports that have => tarnished reputations when it comes to horse welfare (yes, reiners, I’m expecting your hate mail)? Unless you were born without the irony gene, such actions only draw MORE attention to the contradiction between words and actions.
I could swear that the motivation is driven by an attitude reflected in this statement which keeps buzzing in my head, but which HRH has not uttered, at least not yet: ‘You want horse welfare? I’ll give you horse welfare’ (As in ‘I’ll give you something to cry about’). But yelling ‘welfare’ in your outside voice doesn’t make it real.
Today the FEI spin doctors ground out yet another astonishing announcement, that Sheikh Mohammed himself is getting involved in the Endurance clean up. What????? Whaaaaaaat??????? Am I alone in thinking this is exactly like having a B&E criminal repair the broken window AND return the stolen jewelry? If you don’t believe me and are too lazy to click on the link above, just roll this statement from the press release around in your mouth for a moment: “HH Sheikh Mohammed, the current world Endurance champion, expressed his appreciation of the work done by the ESPG and offered his full support for all further initiatives that will guarantee a level playing field for the sport… Following the meeting, the FEI Executive Board, with the full support of HH Sheikh Mohammed, has agreed to create a Task Force that will work on developing practical solutions to ensure a level playing field at Endurance events globally.”
That the FEI would issue an official statement about the abuses in Endurance and pepper it with fawning sentiments about the man whose family represents the lion’s share of offences, well I have no words. I’m clicking my heels together, but clearly I’m not in Kansas any more.
Does anyone know a good oral surgeon? I need my jaw sewn back on.
