Lesley and Leslie with Liam at a show.
As you know, I have been chronicling the difficulties associated with being Superwoman. This week, I will talk about my quest to run a successful business.
Most of our regular clients have been with us since we started. Clinics we have done over and over for the same people for eight years or more. Sure, once or twice a year I mess up and double book, but, in general, I think we are probably among the most professional horse people out there. I always thought we provided quite high end service for our clients, however, the other weekend, I spent quite a bit of time in the cross-country warm-up area and after listening to hours of other coaching, I began to think, ‘Perhaps I need to start a Prozac regime. Perhaps I am letting our clients down because I am not on mood enhancing drugs.’
If you have listened to some of the coaches out there, it is clear that they are taking some kind of daily pill aside from their birth control. For example: down comes their student to an oxer in the intermediate cross-country warm-up and boy they are smoking along! They have a look of fierce determination in their eye, heels down, spurs dug in and about four and a half strides out I start closing my eyes and wondering if I should put my arms up over my head or if that would be unnecessarily overdoing it. Poles and standards go flying, the horse won’t need any dental or chiropractic work for at least a good year, but the coach says, “That’s ok! Just come again!” Then, the next time around, the horse goes into survival mode and either takes off long or stuffs in a short one and the riders are doing some kind of Cirque du Soleil act to stay on top, and the coach says “Fantastic! You look great! You are so ready! Have fun!” I just sit there and think, ‘They are all nuts. How much are these coaches getting paid?’ And, perhaps more interestingly, ‘Do they have life insurance out on their student?’
Now, admittedly, I have always, to some extent to my detriment, been detail-oriented and more interested in perfection since having my son, but come on! In all honesty, if I am riding in that warm-up, ready to go prelim and above levels, I fully expect myself to look like my pal George’s number one or two picks from Hunter Seat Equitation, or I don’t want to leave the start box. If I can’t see a distance with any more certainty than Stevie Wonder, and my horse hangs its legs, get me the hell outta there – and I expect the same from my students. If they want to play at the bigger levels, they best take ownership of their riding and get to a level above mere luck and good faith yet these coaches not only tolerate, but praise bad riding (or perhaps, non-riding).
It gets one thinking, at least up until the point that the clients get maimed, these coaches are probably a) making more money than me, and b) keeping their students happy by telling them how awesome they are. But I just can’t do it. If you are our student I cannot say, “Good try!” when you ride like a train wreck. Instead, I have been known to say things like, “Please go home and write ten times ‘Dear Diary, what was I thinking trying to go at this level’” or even, “You look more like Miley twerking up there than riding a horse,” but Superwoman wouldn’t say that would she? Leslie will even reproach me for what he calls my “too blunt mouth.” Again, fail.
These are just a few of my less than Superwoman moments that I’ve shared the past few weeks. Although I can make light of them now, in reality, my unintentional poisoning of my child, crippling of my husband or sarcasm at the clients (who know I love them, btw lol) can and does keep me up at nights. The only thing that keeps me going is that my son says almost every night that he will grow up to marry me, my husband is still married to me, and our clients still bring us wine after events. So, I guess at times, falling just short of Superwoman is ok.